i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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