I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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