Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
