Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I want is dick and wine.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
