I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
