She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it hurts more in the daytime
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
