Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
