is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm really busy with my period
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