The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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