Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
