dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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