Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
