Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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