You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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