I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
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