Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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(353): View more from

i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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(301): View more from Maryland

We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..

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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH

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(574): View more from Indiana

Someone stole a lamp last night.

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