I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize