Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?