im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you win again, gameday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.