ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

  Fav 14 8903 1340

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  She did the bend and snap...

  Fav 29 8052 1480

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

  Fav 4 1207 2606

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

  Fav 14 4576 1146

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

  Fav 8 1516 1258

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

  Fav 3 1115 876

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.

  Fav 3 1532 846

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

  Fav 7 2145 767

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  When in doubt always reply with bacon.

  Fav 18 3185 901

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (956): View more from Texas

  He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

  Fav 5 555 930

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

  Fav 1 885 503

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy

  Fav 4 878 527

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl

  Fav 3 429 657

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.

  Fav 4 792 318

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.

  Fav 1 138 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize