Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
