I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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