Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!