Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.