Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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