is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
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Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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