doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
