I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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