You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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