morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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