hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
