You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
