AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
