seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
