"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
