I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize