Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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