Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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