seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
