so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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