yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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