as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
