If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
only you would photoshop your dick
of course. lets lasso hookers.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
