Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
