Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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