I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
