Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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