who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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