He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
