I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The air was thick with penises
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize