Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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