Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
