That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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