That's intense
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
