My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??