one two three fourrrrnication!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
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I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid