I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella