Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?