Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize