Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
