....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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