went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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