I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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