My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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