When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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