He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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